How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
