i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize