I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
