love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
