HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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