nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
