I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
