Tell her she can't have a vagina
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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