Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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