dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
