I accidentally burped into my bong.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
