Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
