so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
