when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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