How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize