So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize