My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize