You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
