Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
