is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
