i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
