Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
