well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize