She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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