She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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