Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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