Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She bit a glass in half.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
