he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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