We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
