So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
