I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
