At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
