Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I want to have your abortion
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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