i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So vagazzling was a success
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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