I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
