Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
