we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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