My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
