Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All the doctor said was why
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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