dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
