Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
