Someone shit on the floor
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
