she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
