pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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