i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
