I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
