Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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