yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
