soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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