my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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