oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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