i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just had sex on a roof
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
