My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
