How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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