At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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