Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
