We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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