Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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