I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Randomize
