Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
