yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
