im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm too high and old for this...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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