I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
