Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize