What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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