420 ftw
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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