he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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