one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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