You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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