Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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