So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
